The post is developed in partnership with BetterHelp.
There are few more frustrating things than having intimacy problems in a relationship. They can completely destroy a relationship if they go ignored and are allowed to get worse and even become normalized with time.
Intimacy issues can arise from all kinds of different reasons, and they can be a major challenge to overcome. They can happen to brand new couples and long-established couples alike.
If your relationship is experiencing intimacy problems, don’t despair! There are reasons why the issues exist, and there is generally a way to Overcome Your Intimacy Problems.
So, read on to learn more about where intimacy issues come from and five ways that you can work on overcoming them.
The Source of Intimacy Issues
Intimacy issues may pose such a challenge that you need couple’s counseling. This can be a good idea because it may help to have a neutral third party to help you get down to the source of the issue.
In the meanwhile, however, here are a few possibilities.
Some couples may have issues with sexual compatibility. This is especially true for those couples who may not have established their sexual compatibility before marriage or moving in together.
If you have difficulties in the bedroom, it will be an ongoing struggle to have proper intimacy. Many people are too embarrassed to recognize this, but it is a common source of intimacy issues.
Whether couples have sexual incompatibility issues, or one partner simply cannot resist temptation, infidelity is a common source of intimacy issues among couples.
The infidelity may also take the form of digital intimacy, which may not be physical but can cause just as many problems for couples when it comes to intimacy.
If there has been infidelity, trust issues are bound to follow. There are many reasons why trust issues may develop—e.g. lying, dishonesty, or trouble giving trust due to past trauma. In any case, they almost always make intimacy more challenging.
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How to Solve Intimacy Issues
Now that we’ve covered a few sources of intimacy issues, what’s the best way to overcome them?
We’re going to go through four helpful ways that you can work on your intimacy problems. And if you need more resources on this topic, you might consider a helpful online resource such as BetterHelp.
Get to the Root of the Issue
If you don’t understand the root of your intimacy issues, it will make it very challenging to actually solve them. As a start, reflect on the above section as possible sources for your issues. That said, there are many possibilities when it comes to intimacy, and it may help to discuss your unique situation with a third party.
Take Your Time
When you’re having intimacy problems, you can’t expect them to magically change overnight. While you may have a breakthrough—which is wonderful—you should try keeping your expectations reasonable. Above all, be patient.
It’s almost never a good idea to rush intimacy. So, take your time and do some nice, relaxing activities that help slowly build your intimacy—e.g. holding hands on a walk, sitting together on a bench, giving a massage, etc.
Spend Time Together
It’s very difficult to solve intimacy issues if you simply aren’t spending time together. It might seem obvious, but the more quality time that you spend together, the more likely you will regain your intimacy.
Doing something that is special for both of you may help you rekindle your romantic side and can lead you back to renewed intimacy.
If your intimacy issues are quite severe, you may need to get outside help. A licensed counselor, for example, may be able to help you with just a few short sessions.
That said, you will need to have your partner on board in order for couple’s counseling to be successful.
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Intimacy issues can be a major challenge. It might feel like your relationship will never be what you want it to be. It’s not the time to give up, however. Make sure you consider the true source of your issues and then proactively work on overcoming them. With time and effort, almost anything is possible.
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